four months ago I was working in a job which I had outgrown but continued to try my very hardest at as a result of the fierce loyalty I had for the business & its people. when I handed my notice in after 5 and a half years I was met with cold indifference, shunned for the remaining 4 weeks, and abruptly dismissed the day before I was actually supposed to finish up.
this not an attack, this is not bitterness, these are simply the facts as they happened.
luckily for me, this only served to aid the blind leap of faith I was so cluelessly taking. after years of working towards pointless As, spending another four getting a degree I was in no way passionate about at a uni that made me feel utterly useless, and eventually losing my soul to a thankless job for a year & a half, armed with a lot of opinions and a little sewing skill I had decided to do my own thing on my own terms for the first time in my whole life.
today I sit surrounded by yet another batch of embroidered tshirts waiting, like the two hundred or so to date before them, to be packaged up and shipped to just about every corner of the earth. flooded by messages of support from my ridiculously loyal following. and having realised that the business I so chaotically made from nothing has earned me more in the last 7 days than I ever made in a week at that shop.
finally, for the very first time, doing something that I care about so desperately, and making more money than I ever did doing the job that used to see me lying in my bed crying from sheer dread for minutes on end when I woke up every morning.
if that's not pure joy then I don't know what is.
(and yes, obviously that title's a panic at the disco lyric, i wish it was still 2005 every goddamn day)